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New to Spiked Math?

View the top comics.

View the top comics.

**New Feature:**Browse the archives in quick view! Choose from a black, white or grey background.**Top Math Comics**

(Ranked by SM-CRA)

Other Sites:

Oh, dear. There's gotta be a sixth edition as there is a typo occurring in the joke about the shark! (does vs. do)

But I've gotta buy this book! Awesome :-)

I think these stereotypes are more applicable to textbook publishers/writers. Most mathematicians hate those gimmicks (minor alterations justifying a new edition).

Awesome...

Just awesome...

Jokester by Asimov

-----

[..]

The jokes we laugh at were not made up by any man. Multivac says, extraterrestrial origin.

[...]

It's over, you know, all over.

The gift of humor is gone. No man will ever laugh again.

LOL (or not?) That's one of my favorite Asimov short stories. Others include some robot stories ("Liar", "Lost Little Robot",...) and, of course, (since you got started on Multivac) "The Last Question".

Q. What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?

A. An animal perpendicular to both of them

Mahahhahahah :D

See--some math jokes are good!

Or is that, some math jokes are good?

---

Q. Why did the Math post-grad refuse to go to the clinic?

A. He was afraid of creating a paradox.

Where's section 2?

Apparently you missed the note that sections one and two have been combined.

it got merged into section 1. remember?

I loveeee Stewart, any similarity with reality is pure coincidence!!! :D

Great one!

Q: Why was six afraid of seven?

hint: Consider the next few terms in the arithmetic sequence alluded to above.

Which black and white object is often read in its entirety?

(note: revised version. In previous editions, this question was phrased in a misleading way.)

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Please express your answer in terms of the woodchuck's mass, "m".

Q: How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?

Hint: look at question 6472.

Looks like we're going to need another edition!

coming up with lame math jokes is surprisingly fun...

You didn't think people create math comic websites for the money and the glory, did you?

(well ... not just for the money and the glory ...)

Let the record reflect that I wasn't referring to anyone else's jokes when I said "lame math jokes." Just mine...

There is only one math joke--all the rest are derived by induction?

"Answers provided only for odd-numbered jokes" LOL!

@(x, why) Lol, that got me too! I Have to know what the elephant said to the octopus too, so many places you could go with the name :D

Oh yes--is this joke in the book?

Will it make it into the book of joke books that do not include themselves?

I love the last line of the preface. It's the inability of a certain breed of people [including me] to use all-quantifiers for elements where the respective property cannot be proven for all elements.

"Hmmm ... there could be jokes without a punchline, let's say 'often', just to be on the safe side."

On a side note: Is the set of

funnyjokes countable? Is it even finite?Recalling the finitude of the universe and hence human minds, and assuming that all math jokes are expressible as lexicographic strings, we can prove the theorem that the set of funny jokes is countable. The details are left as an exercise for the reader.

We might need to assume that all jokes are finite. Or repeating. Or some other condition that implies countability.

One of Monty Python's premises was that, if the "punchline" was not funny, they wouldn't use it. It meant that they were not tied into "finishing" jokes just to finish them.

Being a non-math-geek, I consider this an achievement: http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=753459

Oops, posted the wrong link...

An abelian grape? (Hint: see "A Day In The Life", number 40 here)

What about other major joke types?

Joke A0:

N mathematicians walk into a bar.

N=0

Nothing happens.

Joke A1:

N=1

The first mathematician asks for a beer.

Joke A2:

N=2

The second mathematician asks for half a beer.

The bartender says "You mathematicians are all jerks!" and puts out a beer and a half.

...

Joke A4:

N=4

The fourth mathematician orders 1/8 of a beer.

...

The bartender puts out 1 7/8 beers.

Joke AM:

N=M

The Mth mathematician orders (left as an exercise for the reader)

...

The bartender puts out f(M) beers.

"Convince yourself that joke #253,351 is funny." heh

--

Furry cows moo and decompress.

WTF is this website, please close this website because so many people have lost their lives to the cringy jokes thx bye.